Why Do You Wear Bunny Slippers With Fangs?
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: Claire, one day, decides to ask Myrnin this, and she gets a lovely answer. But what happens when Amelie decides that SHE wants Myrnin's bunny slippers? For MeredythFurey


**For MeredythFurey for winning the oneshot from Struggles With What's Right…**

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"Myrnin, it isn't that I don't _like_ the slippers," Claire begins, her gaze directed towards my feet as we sit in the lab, on a break from working. "It's just… _why_ did you start wearing them anyway?" she seems to deviate from the statement she was originally going to say, instead asking a question.

I feel my forehead crinkling as I consider this, debating the answer myself.

"Well… you see, it was because there was this _very_ sick child and she told me that if I wore these slippers, although I could refresh them, she would go to heaven," I make up on the spot, hoping a sob story will get her to laugh or to think of me as a better man, _vampire,_ than I already am in her eyes. Since I bit her a few months ago, I need to work harder than ever to get her to trust me.

Her eyes widen for a moment as she looks at me, before she seems to figure out that it was a lie: dammit! I thought my pretence, complete with puppy dog eyes (as she calls them) and a pleading expression, would last a _little_ longer than about three seconds.

"Myrnin, don't bother lying and tell me the truth or I'll just bin them anyway," she threatens, evidently trying to call my bluff.

"_Don't_ bin them!" I yell, startling her slightly but not caring as my hand moves down to hold onto my slippers slightly. "Fine, fine, I'll tell you… a couple of years ago, in Morganville, there was a drug cartel that went wrong. They stored everything in bunny slippers with fangs but they were arrested… I just managed to nick a few of the pairs-" I say but she cuts me off, laughter in her eyes.

"I know you're lying, Myrnin," she laughs at me, but I can sense that she wants a truthful answer. "Tell me, or I go and get Amelie and get _her_ to destroy the slippers!" she threatens and I know she means it.

"You wouldn't!" I exclaim, my eyes narrowing at her as I try and figure out if she is being serious or not.

"She has no need to, Myrnin, for I am already here and heard every word of the _utter_ nonsense you have just been discussing," Amelie startles me by suddenly talking and revealing her presence. She seems to scare little Claire more though, her heartbeat increasing dramatically in accordance with her breathing as she turns around to see Amelie behind her. "I believe I have no need to reassure you that I _will_ do this, for you have known me to be ruthless about things much more important than slippers, no?" she continues, levelling me off with a hard stare.

"I… um… ok then," I stutter, wondering how to explain the truth when it is so utterly mundane and boring. "Well… it all began many years ago…" I start before Amelie butts in.

"Many years ago, Myrnin, bunny slippers with fangs didn't even _exist_, therefore you _cannot_ begin your story with that!" she makes it clear she wants an answer, even though it wasn't even her who asked the question.

"Fine," I glower, turning away from both Amelie and Claire. "Well, my feet were cold one day and I needed some new slippers so I, ahem, borrowed some from a shop, since I had no money. Yet I accidentally had wandered into the ladies section and instead of picking up the masculine blue rabbits, I, erm, picked up the women's ones… Claire, you alerted me to the knowledge that there was ones with fangs… but it all started because my feet were cold," I sigh, reminiscing about the day when my feet felt like blocks of ice, so much so that I had to turn back into the petty thief I once was and steal some slippers.

Their reactions are as I suspected. Amelie barely manages to conceal a laugh, even though it isn't funny_ whatsoever_ what I told her, whilst Claire sounds like a gorilla with the volume at which she grunts her laughter out.

"I have to say, Myrnin, that is the _best_ story ever!" Claire squeals with delight and I smile before reverting back to my 'annoyed because I had to tell the story look'. "For that, you can keep the slippers and I will never bug you about them again!" she says, and I find the small victory in there.

That is, until I turn around to find Amelie slipping back from my room, a bag containing my new pink bunny slippers in (the fangs are not needed to be mentioned to know they are present).

"Aha! What are _you_ doing?" I call at her, my finger pointing out to show her I caught her in the act of a crime. She turns slightly red but keeps her composure, a little, and I stare at her in outrage.

"I... erm… wanted your slippers?" she questions slightly, playing on the innocence her youthful appearance brings her.

But I have none of it. I run over to her and grab the slippers from her, cradling them to my chest. Then I run back across the room and press a button on the side, setting off my new anti intruder system.

"I hate you!" I scream at her. "NEVER come back here again! Ever!" I continue to scream as the system sends a gust of wind so strong at Amelie that she has no chance of not being blown out of the door…

… I guess being a china doll doesn't help when the wind is against you.

Claire looks at me, agog, before laughing. "The wind took your bunny slippers," she informs me and I look down at the bag in my hands… empty…

"NOOOOOO!" I cry, falling to my knees. This is _not_ good!

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**Whatcha think?**

**MeredythFurey, I did this one because I didn't really understand the other one :P**

**Review, please!**

**Vicky xx**


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